it's all beeyooteefool -

May 14, 2008

@9:28 PM

sometimes i wish, in that vast space between us, you'd talk to me.

& then i'd wish i'm like other people, who can start conversations so easily and continue them, that i'm funny, that i'm at least interesting to talk to somehow. that i wouldn't find it awkward to randomly start talking to ppl, even if i've known them for quite a while & see them practically everyday, that i wouldn't find it necessary to avert my eyes when i see acquaintances just so i can avoid saying hi to them, simply because i think it feels weird, that i'd take initiative to start msn convos, even if i don't have anything specific to say. there was a point of time i even considered (quite seriously) buying my own reeds because i didn't want to approach the QMs for new ones.

but oh well.

was emoing yesterday, kuz i realised how commonplace i am, inconsequential & insignificant; not that i want to be high-profile or even known by anyone else aside from classmates, ex-classmates, senior-class ppl, bandmates etc etc, but that i'm fading into the background & at the end of 2 years of jc i'm not going to have made an impact on anybody, or have changed anything for the better. oh not to mention my grades are absolutely dazzling at this point of time. sigh. sucks larh, until i saw this quote which cheered me up -

Our ordinary mind always tries to persuade us that we are nothing but acorns and that our greatest happiness will be to become bigger, fatter, shinier acorns; but that is of interest only to pigs. Our faith gives us knowledge of something better: that we can become oak trees. - E.F. Schumacher

:) :) confidence! majulah!

& i embraced the world;